i've never seen you bleed from the nose -Colleen
"joe was drunk on scotch, and keith richards"-a book.. on the clash
"...everyone has said "I am the." I am THE fonz" -Spencer
"KAyak is a PALINDROME!"
" I'm sticking to Paris because i'm french AND a pilgrim.
and i think
i just started my period."-Melanie on fonts.
""i'm not in greece... why are you poking my NIPPLES??"
hahaha I had a great time at work! theres lots of mice
and MARVIN GAYE "Lets get it on" -teresa
Hey Barry! *holds sholder*
"Collen, you're gonna get carpel tunnel" "oooh..
look! theres a star in the corner of tha room.. E I E I O!! (licks hand)" "you're a dog" Teresa and i?
"THIS is a BIG JUG." -Melanie
"You're a WHO ORE"-Teresa
"what a bout a moat?" "No, i HAVE a TUGBOAT" -JUlia/Colleen
"colleen is not here... no more."
"no more VOdka for THAT.... man."
"Colleen, do you want some Death?" "DEFINATELY!"-Julia/colleen
"NO... she WAS a baby.... woah... you should getr those weights
(picks up empty glass) this must be two.. no.. .THREE pounds!"
"I slept with the blanket that semlls like ass... and i thought
it was pretty funny so i just kept smelling it... Mmmmm... ASS." -Teresa
"I think i ripped my pants because i ran into something sharp."
"whats up with my pants being open?" "i know! mine were all open
too... and its freakin' me out !! " -Julia/colleen
"are those the rocks with presidents heads?" "no teresa... thats
a scetch of a chicken... flip it over." Teresa/Julia
"Your head will just be one huge... laugh...ABYSS." -Sarah on wether
or not i'll have laugh lines
"Yea i know... i saw one of my socks and i was like woah.. how'd
THAT get there."
"AAAHH! Sorry... i had to scare the degus." -Nathaniel
"....*silence*... CATWOMAN!" -Nathaniel
"come drop by and Visit me and my boyfriend. Whos driving? If its your moom.. dont bother dropping
Eliza went there to get lessons on how to talk english good.
Oh! I finally found out what you and emmilou ment with graham and his mock neck
Hhhhhhaaaaahahaha! Was it his NUDE one??/
Yes, he has a black one, grey, white, burgandy.../
He buys them in bulk
My sleeping bag smells like rice with soya sauce
Youre looking for stuff on masterbation arent you?/
No im looking
for funny stuff in general... but that will be great when i get there!
Dont my lights look like breasts? They used to be these huge balls..
Psh! Drive my car... Ill drive your car.. rightr off a cliff ill drive your car
-Erin on Paul McCartneys live tour (SOLO) singing a beatles song
Pauls a slut, its all about Ringo
"somehow......there was peanut butter on my ear........i've been smelling it for an hour and finally found
"also, you, me tankage soon"s
"Sarah stop pissing on the floor!""Stop making me WANT to!"-Susan/sarah
"YOu guys are PERVERTS." "You are Asexual!" "in THEory...
I am PAN sexual."-sarah/susan/sarah
"This is my impression of Julias Tshirt." " .....
am i on DRUGS??"-Sarah/Susan
"I enjoy this." "thats because you're pissing in
i'm going to make some toast and spread some peanut butter on it!
"I am the marenading King"-shean
" hey, i'm not the angel of death.. i'm just a professional wrestler with a big mouth" -chicogo
"pudding wand? ...warmest CROTCH EVER." -sarah
"Speaking of crotches.. my mom amde me watch the Vagina monologues."-Melanie
"i'm excited, and you suck... are you free right now?"-andy
"you're excited? feel the nipples! ohhh yea, just like that.... mmmm... ouch! no tweaking!"
"jesus, andy?... its interchangable"-andy
"you.....are an idiot" -melanie
"maybe you could splice the sperm *Bifffft*" -Joey
"She's obsessed with dildos.... your six inch lovin' is leaking" -Me at subway
"creed makes my bowels ache"- some website
"i'm spinning my nipple now"-julia
"jacob always talks about monkeys....so maybe i'll GIVE IT TO HIM"-melanie
"when i met you, you were top drawer....now, you're TOP GUN!"- mike mosher
"i've had people magazine on my face before....but it's a GLOSSY magazine!"- julia
"i wanted to come visit you and i called and no one was there and then i cried....while watching
the punk show. ... minus the crying ...and punk show"-melanie
"walking around like cripples.... what? would you prefer me to call them CRIPS?"-ryan
"i'm A MACHINE!" "a make-me-giggle machine!"
"wow! thats alot of snow! its up to my neck... if i were lying down."-Melanie
"how 'bout ROTATE my
anus! OooooWwEeeeeeOOooooEEeeeee" -Susan
"that is not a vegetarian
...that is what I call a loser." -Jack
shean (looking at ryan's crotch between lyrics)"man...your
package looks really big right now"
I could use a shot of that yak urine right about now.
"one usually does dan, it a hard day for
""well not exactly naked... i was toweling" -matt
"i pity the rest of the world!""me too! onkly, tea style"=colleen
"i have a blank cd if you wanna burn it for me
...and i don't mean burn as in insult"-colleen
"i don't think we've had salami in this house in years! maybe
i smell the absence of salami it wants to make it's way back into my home. THINK AGAIN SALAMI!
""Something smells like..." "not me." "...fruit punch..." "DEFINATELY not me." -jeanlouis/TO/JL/T.O.
""suckclickclickclicklicksuckchunk" "whats the chunk?" "those are the curds."-TO/Julia/Paul
"If i get this e-mail one more time I swear I'll do something really really angry." -Sarah
" you're turning into a REAL ASSHOLE!" "I AM?" "...yea."-sarah/julia/sarah
" I had a similar response .... but to scissors"- worf
"Julia, is your blood turning into a liquid polymer?"
"I got peanut butter in my ear this morning."-Sarah
"and i found Julia and she was like 'i have alot of pineapple juice." -Melanie
"Andy Judy?? now THEREs a Compromise!"-Sarah
"i'm just imagining myself with a peach snatch"
"I cant BELEIVE you're on The PSN! (the patrick stewart network)" "i cant belive you're
in the PEACE group! 'oh no, we cannot kill the BABIES!"
"something smells like cinnamon... in a sexy sort of way... OOH! its my ARMPIT!"
"He wants me to dye his hair... hey can i borrow your slush pants?" -melanie
you said muddled! that was in my hamlet soliloquy! -teresa
"did you have a seizure?" "no! i WISH!"-julia/ chris robinson
know who doesn't have a unibrow? that'd be ME-melanie
"but look at how big babies are... its like pooping a turtle" -jacob hiltz
"I hate television almost as much as I hate eating peanuts,but I can't stop eating peanuts"
"I'm doing laundry""LAUNDRY? laundry's for SUCKERS!"" Well shine my shoes! i guess i'm
a SUCKER!!" -erin/melanie
"he's got... like beaver tailes up his sleeve." "oh yea.... wait... WHAt??"-Paul/jacob
"..through something called insest which is NOT very cool."-Mr. outhouse
"The reason he used pee pants..*ahem*... PEA plants is..." -Mr. Outhouse
"I dare you to lick it..... NONO you'll get herpes!" -emily
"come on Julia, we have to make a baby" -emily
"your Ootid is gonna be WRINKLED" -Kyle
"Did anyone get a wrinkled child?" -outhouse
"we need to go pee... and fill this cup" -emmilou
"hey, i'm that black guy that sings "-josh
"i'll flap your jack" "I'll jack my flap" -julia/josh
'"denis!! ...POLKA!" -a christmas carol
"you're not looking at it form the right angle" (dad looks at stomach)
"dad has friends.... and both of them are really nice"
I try to use retarded as a positive term... like, "man, the super friends show is going to be
that way your giving retards a compliment.....I mean really if every retard in the world could
feel even half as cool as the superfriends are?.... we'd be one step closer to lennon's vision.'-shean
"what the hell is NOG anway??" "...gon backwards." -julia/ andrew maclean
"..Either that, or youre constipated. Here Scott, have a laxative..."-melanie
its the ean of the Sh-ayness (awn of the shh anus)
"YOU definatly sparkle on my tree "-heather
something comes out of your pants screaming and starts calling you mommy after a few years MIGHT be a clue"-jacob,
on how to know when you're pregnant
"I see you're quite the hello kitty fan"- Melanie
"You are an idiot."- Emmilou
"I'm peeing my pants RIGHT NOW!"- melanie
"i hate tv and popular culture and right wing flag hugging assholes" -emmilou
'yeah i'm a lefty"- Lauren
"it's also good for corrupting small children and assaulting me with a constant series of patrick burke lookalikes
telling me to find my old classmates"- emmilou
"Ryan is like... the fat giver."-shean
" i wonder if I'll tongue grandpa
...not MY grandpa" -candice
"i need a frog" -Emily
"thats an EAR??? thats CRAZY!!!" "wait til you seee where
the STOMACH is! ...where's the ear? ....OH i thought THAT was the stomach"-julia/emily macgowan
"I'm not going to vote for your brother because jesus still has my vote!"-candice
"you know a slipperly slope? like... "marijuana, thats a slippery slope.. soone enough you'll be doing crack."-mrs.macneil
"i look dirrty? Hey, today is SHOWER day!" -candice
"the timbit is like the hotdog of doughnuts" -Aaron
"the soxs are purple on friday? well isnt that something to add to the pointless pile of information we
call our lives" "no, i said SALSA, the SALSA is purple on fridays." -andrew/julia
"man, i used to have pants like those... then i wore them down to a nub"-jennah
"are you naked or are you just wearing a sausage??"
"*gurgle* there's so much pressure on my sinuses!"-colleen upside down
"if you're going to make macoroni and cheese... why not just make GOOLASH!" -rachelle
"this isn't working!" "..WHATS an orgy?" -susan/julia
"ok, well I'm gonna go wash the dirty dirty nazi subway onion stink off of my body."-shean
"i LOVE bannanas! but not between my binders"-melanie the great
"i know how to spell COCONUT MONKEY, oKAY??!"-susan
"he was all like....."man, why the hell did you invite susan's dorky little sister".... and I was all like..."man
your such an asshole, I think she's great" and he was all like "whatever man, you smell like onions"... and I was all like
"Why do i get the feeling he just wants to ride a big round hard thing?" -jacob on n'sync guy going to space
"whats the worse stench you've ever smelled in a car?"".....the time you puked on my shoes."-julia/sarah
"oh.. nevermind! i just forgot you have a penis" -julia on ryan... i mean SPEAKing ABOUT ryan
"what does quaker mean?" " quaker... 'one who quakes'. OOoh, SHAKEY oats."-SArah
"boy weenie, i'm so glad we shared the bigbannana but i sure am tired! "geee henry, i'm fresh out of
blueberries, but could i intrest you some big bannana good heavens ozwald where did you get that big bannana? i grew it myself
OH! *squish* oh.. right weenie! thats okay ozwald, i head you shared that big bannana with everyone... you too weenie! well
weenie girl, home again.goodnight ozwald goodnight weenie"-Ozwald the octopus quotes
"if i were as skinny as a litte crack whore would i get laid? ..yes, for money."
"there's a difference between making fun of someone and hosing them down with stinky juice"-jacob
"its not a WEIRD question if i was RIGHT" -susan. on asking sarah if she was naked
"if i wanted tight skin, i'd buy a drum" -tom, on old hookers
"i have never seen snow before. my brother and me tried to make it in the freezer but it just melts in your
hand, it's just ice, not snow"-ivan
"! i was whippin out the moves like spiderman!" melanie
"someone had the volume up really loud!!" "it was because of my journey into the shacer."-susan.sarah
"Oooooooooh! hello spermies!!!"-emily with a microscope and rat testes
"think about it! these go in your MOUTH." -emily macgowan (looking through a microscope at rat testes)
"now its FOIL time... OH... .so you know of HAMMER but no NOTHING of TONE LOC??" -mrs carroll
"with rationals you have little swoopy swoopy affairs."-Mrs carroll
"keep U-ing it" "they are fractions over fractions... a 'fractional nightmare" -Mrs. Carroll
"you people in the back. you're going to have to stop being.. like idiots."-mrs.carroll
"what if your shirt says 'i'm a huge gutter-slut?'-adam pinsky
"oh hi. oh wait... GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. you're ugly."-Mr.Zimmerman
"you know what i'm sick of hearing about?WEED." -Lill
"it's like someone solidified happiness and shoved it in my pants."-Jacob
"exit only my ASS"
"your boys can't swim!" "what do you mean... I'm a LIFEGUARD!!!"-julia/jean louis
"you can do the questions in the text... if you SUCK." -Mrs.caroll
"I'll Pledge the steam off my piss." -Jacob
"okay, stick your nose into this crack and take a BIG whiff. TRUST me."Jacob
HEY! lets ass jenny craig!
"Poor boy snails." -Emily
"Uterus's are for PACkin' sperm." -Emily
" did u see the one when jesus called in? he was wondring if u could buy smaller condoms because his kept fallin
off in his girlfriend because they were too big u never woulda thought the son of god would have that sorta problem"-Mark
"wow. (looking at spencers crotch) you've grown! ..... I'm good with wood..... i put the wood in three times" - Jill
" shag red carpet?" "i'll shag your red carpet." "ew." -Andrew/julia
"who's that?" "stranvinsky." "Is that your piano teacher?" -teresa/sarah
"There's a dyke in my house and she's moving to Utah."-Teresa
"My Cookie is out there!" -Teresa
"My head isn't clear" "what?" "ha! maybe it's genetic." "ha!" "ha!" "What was it you were saying?" -Sarah/Mom
"I sort of looked back and was like 'oh crap! leg licker!' and I walked away." -Sarah
"It's not nice to talk about bedbugs when i have a rash from my pillow" -Sarah
"I'm like the Milli Vanilli of sunburns" -Sarah
"Stop looking at me like that!! Oh, wait..." Sarah to me over the phone.
"I hit my head in the face"
"My foot looks imensly huge right now." "really? My leg is itchy?" -Me/Sarah
" Craziness is HOT." -Ben manuel
"I don't even know what he was. He just wanted to lick me." -Sarah
"That wasn't effective at all." " I didn't FEEL effective." _me/sarah
"Sometimes I'm standing on the Metro platform and i just want to sing .Gershwin. Mostly gershwin." Sarah
"see, they're all about the blang blang, and i'm all about the hat"-shean
"I feel my peaches are in danger." - Sarah
"Is that chicken or mushrooms?" -Susan
" i don't know. I think you'd have to change your pants." -Susan
"I wonder if there are going to be vegetables tomorrow." -Sarah
"I want a fruit right NOW!" "i'm a fruit" -me/Mom
Syphilis can be spread to the brain... like Al Capone-mom
"I think I got high on chickeN' -mom
"STop writing things and putting them on the website!!!!" -MOM
a dog named emily kiley
"Lesbianism is okay if you're ON something." "Yeah, like anouther girl." -me/Jamie
"hey susan! 'OUCH'...get it? come on!! E2 susan... GET it? E2!!" "...do you mean ET?"
"...yes." -I and susan
"i can breathe!" "show off." -I and andrew
"i have to put my band aid in my bananna tree. i mean my pinapple can , papya box?" -Me
"you OVERACTIVE? 'yes, lets run backwards through TIME'" -andrew
"..and this is julia on DRUGS" "Pardon?" -Colleen/me
"thats nice, rod n' tod" -sarah
"all trees are made out of wood. except those christmas ones which can kiss my ass." -Andrew
"sarah, are you coming on to me?" "I think i might be" -I and Sarah
"All i can hear is a big german man in the background" "oooh! and i bought sugar cubes!" -I and sarah
wait, i've got hummous
"Keep it safe guys... Move it up and down, not side to side." -Chris Murphy
"Oh~ well i better get out of buddie's way. oh CRAP! *SPLAT*"-Sarah (at her first experience with a crowd surfer)
"You don't happen to have a box in your closet that belongs to me?"-Sarah
"sarah, are you breathing?" 'yes." -Susan/Sarah
"I don't talk about hell. Didn't you knowtice?" -Mom
"like I have enough of a goat to grab" -Mr. Boutlier
"and the cow kicked us and we died." -Spencer
"mmmmm, his dad is so small" -Teresa
"SWEET! I got 'Malaria!'"
"come and try our back portch grilerl" -...burger king
"Two hot n' juicy teens for five dollars" -burger king
"not as disgusting as EATING SOMEONE elses NOODLES" -Sarah
"GO HOME SLUTS!" -anthony
"dude, the ozzie gave me a sweet one today. it was nice and juicy" -Teresa (just afer i had said 'SEX!!')
"she's such a HICCORPRIT!" -Teresa
"Bo Fugly? that not Paul Grosses name" -directed towards me
you know the little thing that I blow in to make noise if something is wrong, I can't find it! -Graham
don't have any friends....i mean PICS! omg...
you should soo but that as a quote!' - christina garon
up! i can't type for carp! -Colleen (on purpose)
'your mane ended with "my butt"' -jACOB
well you see
i wear eatiable undies so if i get really excited i just knaw on my underwear -Adam
"My estrogen is broken" -Andrew
"YOu can see her COOKIE!!"-Teresa
"Chocolate Chad" -Halina!
"i think my neck's broken...wait, that's
CLEARLY not true"
"there's a path right over heeeeeRRRRRREEEe" -Nathaniel
"there's water under the bridge"
"He has a goiter shaped like Don King"-Andrew
"did jesus pose for that picture?" -Emily Macgowan
"PUSSY!!" -Teresa Thomas
"for the love of God SHAVE! You too boy toy..." -Andrew
"Pelople say ass
in the bible, people RIDE asses in the Bible" -Tim HAnley
"whatever flooots your Boooooot" -Jacob
movie?" -Emily Macgowan
"obnoixtious chaclate covered chivren" -Mom
"that licence plate says cAC!!!" -Teresa
"you bought LAWN grass?!?!?!?!" -In reference to Aaron
"you know where you're going charbel" Ms. Coates
"Irene who?"-graham (on me myself and irene)
"the last house smelled like cat poop" - Teresa (to a treat-give
"i have terminal hiccups" -Me
"i think i'm attractive" -Me
"the barn door's WIDE open" -... who even KNOWS
"do you idolize me as ham?" -Julia
"yea I thought
"One of the best ways to keep people silent is to keep them from talking" _mr. Boutlier
"It's a bad day to be your face" -Andrew
"There's my pic! no. thats a penny... no.. its a dime"-andrew
"See, on casual days he takes his pants OUT of his ass" -Tim (on mr. betuik)
"i can derrive a car" -Tim
"so thats why you became religous, you like playing with nutts"-Jean Louis
"hey guys... I'm not superman" -winston
"my name ins;t spelled with an 'a' but hey, whatever" -Emily mcgowan
"this guy's the man! he has a fifth leg! oh wait no... it's his tail' -brain potier
"Who smells flouride?"_emily
"What is hammer time Alec, Hammer Time." -My subconscience
"i met this guy and he didn't know that he was circumsized" "did he look different?" -Julia/Emily
"Man, look at that! you have scrawny fingers!" "lets ask your MOM."-Mark/Julia
"I'm not Yoko-fucking-Ono" -Julia
"Icky bitch" -Colleen
"I killed it twice and it's not dead yet" -Hobz
"i'm allergic to touching myself" -Susan
"lung filled cow" -Julia
"most of the books I read are either canadian or foreign" -Sarah
"that was te best trip to the washroom i've ever had"
"the clock says 1-2-3-1 which i almost a palindrome.. but if you block out the number with your fingers-Holy shit I'm
kind of drunk right now."
"i just got peirced by a walrus ... The
walrus is in the past jesus CHRIST get with the times"
"strife means babies, right?" Graham
"I can hear the banshees too ...I think it's dogfood" -Emily
haha no i work woth the porn that has more woman than man
and none of thoes guys can match the gerth -Bret
"my fish was suicidal last night" -Emily
"justin! Feel my ass! IS it sweet?" "NO!" -emily/justin
"Wait, this is the THIRD floor?!?!?!"-me (elaborating my reaction to ben just jumping out of the window)
Siameese fighting beer
"i've decided to not be confused... i mean.... ahhh....yea?...was that it?" -teresa
"It was all worn out..there's a little too much chastity goin' on here" -Winston
"OHHH! it tingles! right up my corpus collossum!" -Mom
"i'm shrinking! you'll call me midget mom soon! You have PERMISSION to call me midget mom" -Mom
"Emily, I'm getting REALLY fed up with you... I mean Julia... I might have to kick you out....Mark, get out."
Women are strong... with uterus
"WOOK! its a yellow shafted flicker...a woodpecker." -Clarence (the nature guy with a lisp)
"last time we left off at the beggining of the end." -Mr. Boutlier
"i have an ample supply of animal stomachs in my desk" -Mr. boutlier
"a purple tongue is the first sign of drowning" "no it's not." -boutlier/graham
"sperm genises.. think about the Bible" -Mme. Wiseman
"yak butter sir... the buddhists make statues out of it." -Andrew
"cut your scissors later." -Andrew
"it comes from the butt sentance right?..and the but sentance goes there?" "You gotta respect the Butt"
" Don't make me break my foot off in your conjunction" -Janice/me/Mr. Boutlier
"Thats like asking,'Yes, excuse me but do you have a white albino koala fetus in your RIGHT pocket?'"
"i don't know about the 'elaborate' .. I don't trust elbows" -Spencer
"You cut up his brain, you bloody baboon!"
- Charlton Heston (Planet of the